Reflections one year post-Europe
Hey Cool People!!
So it has been over a year now since I set off on my life-changing European adventure. It was an experience that has helped develop how I relate to the world and others, empowered me to take new challenges and broadened my educational horizons.
I have reflected a lot on the experience I have had lately, especially considering the increase violence and visible signs of hate and bigotry.
Jessica, who joined me half-way-through, on my journey has shared what I have struggled to say perfectly. I would like to share her thoughts with you, as they help to shine a light in an ever darkening world:
Last week marked the one-year anniversary since the start of my trip, and a lot has happened this year. For me, it has meant moving to a new city, starting a new job, adjusting to a whole new lifestyle, and attempting to put the pieces of myself back together after an experience that simultaneously destroyed me and taught me more about myself than anything else I’ve ever done.
For the world, however, it has been a year of disagreements, bad (understatement) politics, cultural divide, prejudice, hate, fear, and violence. So much violence. Which, truth be told, is really nothing new for the world – at least, not through the eyes of the mass media. But I find myself having a whole new perspective on it this time around.
In fact, in the year since my trip, several of the cities I visited have been the subject of such violence. Which, of course, meant spending said year amidst a chorus of “you’re so lucky that [insert horrible thing] didn’t happen while you were in [insert amazing place]!” from otherwise well-meaning friends and family. I’m pretty sure I’ve done permanent damage to my eyeball muscles from the sheer number of times I’ve rolled my eyes. Word to the wise: please do not ever say something like this to me unless you want to give me a freaking aneurysm.
Oh sorry…too much too fast? Well, let me explain. It should be no secret to anyone that I have become a pretty harsh critic of America (you can read more about that HERE) in recent years. Not in an “I hate America” kind of way; in a “we can do better, I know we can do better, why does no one else see we can do better…?!” kind of way.
In America, the response to violence elsewhere in the world has historically been to batten down the hatches and rally the troops. We, as Americans, like to sit behind locked doors and join hands around the table discussing how lucky we are to live in America, “where it’s safe”. Meanwhile in our own backyards, school children are getting shot up, cops are being murdered in cold blood, and even the LGBT community – one of the most joyful cohorts of people I know – has become the target of violence.
Let me be clear: I was NOT “lucky” that nothing bad happened to me while I was in Europe. We are ALL “lucky” that nothing bad happens to us every single day we walk out our front doors into the waiting mercy of the rest of the world. BUT – and this is the most important part, so listen up – if your solution to that is to never leave the house again, then you are sorely SORELY mistaken about what it’s going to take to fix it.
No one seems to be saying this loudly enough, so I will: the VAST majority of any group of people (Muslims, Christians, police officers, black people, white people, gay people, straight people, American people, non-American people, etc.) are good, kind, well-intentioned people who do not mean any harm to you, your family, or your way of life. The fact that we have given the tiny minority of horrible-acting people the biggest spotlight has been the fatal error resulting in hate, fear, retaliation, and ever-more horrible acts.
As long as you live your life in a world of “them” and “us”, nothing will ever change. As long as you refer to Muslims or black people or gay people or cops in terms of statistics you heard about in the news or another headline on the front page, there is no way the world can get better.
Do you have friends who are black? Or gay? Have you ever met a Muslim person or been to a Muslim country? Have you talked to a cop about their passion or their work? It is a lot more difficult to hate or fear people when you know them as actual PEOPLE and not as the “they” you hear or read about. The only response to violence and prejudice should be to open up your life and your world to those who are different than you – not locking doors and putting up walls (cough cough).
And you don’t even have to travel to do that. My challenge to you is this: think of a group of people that you might be afraid of or have a strong sense of distaste for. Got one? Now go find a member of that group who is living in your very community (because chances are very good that they are there) and invite that person to have coffee with you. Sit down with them in peace and ask them questions. Questions about their family, questions about their kids, about their work, about their hopes and dreams and stressors. Invite them into your life and gain an understanding of theirs. (And if all that fails, you can always try downloading Pokemon Go – that seems to be working quite nicely for everyone!)
A very wise man once said (ok, it was Jim Jefferies, one of my favorite comedians, but still) “Think of someone you hate, who hates you. Now imagine treating that person you hate with nothing but love. I’m not saying for a second that that person will start loving you, but one thing WILL happen. Eventually everyone is going to see THEM as the ass hole. Don’t be the ass hole, America.” Word.
Given the opportunity, I would not hesitate to take my entire trip over again, even (read: especially) to the places I visited that have since been attacked by terrorists. The people I met and the perspective I gained were more than worth the risk. So, no, I was not “lucky” that nothing bad happened to me while I was traveling. I was lucky that I didn’t listen to the people who said it would and went anyway.
Check out this post at geraldjfisher.com/jessicas-journal
